Life Anthemic

Working Through

Great discussion at the C&C group last night.  See the comments for the FRAMES 2008 Post below to catch up with the discussion from that night if you haven't already, then come back here.  Don't worry, I'll wait for you.

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So we got to talking last night about this question: from what kinds of things do I need freedom, and where do I find it in my life?  Specifically we addressed those kinds of things that we believe about ourselves.  Let me first say that these are beautiful people.  I was so humbled last night by everyone's heart.  I am inspired and refreshed this morning.  Here are some paraphrased statements from last night:

"I feel free when I remember that I don't have to be 'good' to be loved."

"I feel free when I remember that I don't have to be what everybody else is or do what everybody else is doing in order to enjoy life or be worthwhile."

"I feel free when I remember that I don't have to be or do everything perfectly."

"I feel free when i realize that my worth and identity are not determined by what I do."

"I feel free when I realize that I don't have to do it all by myself."

"I feel free when I can serve other people."

I thank God for all of these statements because so many people are laboring under their own heavy weights, and the sooner we can reevaluate our own worth as not being derived from what we do, how well we do it, the net result of our failures and triumphs, the sooner we can begin to live with a sense of freedom.  I believe that is what Jesus wants for all of us: to be able to bring everything that we are, the good parts and the ugly parts, and feel safe with him and with other people.

Comments?  Thoughts?  Rants, Raves?

-Chris

FRAMES 2008

The first reality we must grapple with is this: that God will never fit into any frame we can construct for him.  That said, we all use pictures of God in order to articulate His reality in our lives, and to that end we can only expand what is really a construction, and ask him to graciously bear with our shortcomings.  Here are some questions I have been wondering lately, and asking God to work into my expanding frame:

- Where was God when a sixteen year old girl commited suicide last week? 

- When does God choose to intervene in people's lives?  Why does it seem like he appears to others more readily than to myself?

- Why is God's church so fractured, and where is the hope to be found in reconciliation?

- What's the real point of Sunday?  Is it enough?  What kind of service would Jesus put on?

I'm also working within a frame for myself that has undergone a variety of gradually mounting pressures as new things begin to work themselves into my self-portrait.  As a new pastor of less than a year, the responsibilities required of me have forced me to either sink or swim.  I've had to accept new things about myself that have both troubled me and brought me joy.  I have a more secure perception of my own worth.  Here are some of the questions that still keep me busy:

- At what point does my roll as a pastor and my identity as uniquely Chris converge?  Where does Pastor Chris end and Plain Old Chris begin?

- What is my roll on this planet?  Where have I allowed my gifts and talents to be squandered and my mission clouded because of fear?

- How do I embrace my self as a loved child of God and still accept myself as a sinner and well-intentioned failure?

- How do I avoid falling into the trap of believing that I have to be a Super Pastor in order to be worthy of love, acclaim, support, attention, etc?

- How do I create boundaries for myself so that I can manage other people's expectations, and to what extent is my inability to manage these a reflection of immaturity in myself?  How can I improve, or let go?

Finally, I want to expand my frame surrounding other people.  The other day my fiance Hannah said to me, "Is the reason you don't ask me questions anymore because you think you've got me all figured out?"  And while the answer to that question is complex, I was still forced to admit that I've placed a nice little frame around her, and those times when she busts our of her confines have led to my confusion or even my anger.  So:

- How to I love and embrace Hannah and keep the wonder of her personality real and tangible to me?

- Where do I take my relationships for granted?

- What are my expectations for my friendships and family members, and where have I been short-sighted or asked more of them than I am willing to give?

- How do i be a servant to people I have a difficult time loving?

THE BIG QUESTION: What are your frames?   Which questions are you wrestling with, are demanding your time, are calling for a larger frame for God?  What are some of the things you believe about these things now that never used to fit in your old frames?

May the truth always find you willing to embrace it.  -Chris