Life Anthemic

New College and Career Time!

We're changing our time to immediately after second service on Sunday, around 1pm.  We'll bbq, have a little post-message discussion, and possibly play volleyball if we get enough folks to form teams.  See you guys then!

College and Career

For Father's Day, no College and Career this week.  We'll start back up on the other side of Dad's day.  There IS basketball, however. 

I Saw God Today

by George Strait

Just walked down the street to the coffee shop
Had to take a break
I've been by her side for 18 hours straight
Saw a flower growing in the middle of a sidewalk
Pushing up through the concrete
Like it was planted right there for me to see
The flashing lights, the honking horns
All seemed to fade away
In the shadow of that hospital at 508
I saw God today.

Chorus:
I've been to church, I've read the book
I know he's here but I don't look
Near as often as I should (Yeah I know I should)
His fingerprints are everywhere
I just slowed down to stop and stare
Opened my eyes and man I swear
I saw God today.

Saw a couple walking by
They were holding hands
Man she had that glow
Yeah I couldn't help but notice she was starting to show
Stood there for a minute taking in the sky
Lost in that sunset
A splash of amber melted into shades of red.

Chorus:
I've been to church, I've read the book
I know he's here but I don't look
Near as often as I should (Yeah I know I should)
His fingerprints are everywhere
I just slowed down to stop and stare
Opened my eyes and man I swear
I saw God today.

Got my face pressed up against the nursery glass
She's sleeping like a rock
My name on her wrist wearing tiny pink socks
She's got my nose, she's got her mamas eyes
My brand new baby girl
She's a miracle
I saw God today...

SCARS

When I was a teenager I was really overweight.  I was known as the "skinniest fat guy" in school, because of the guys who were big, I was the smallest.  But I was still firmly in that category, and with that label came the expectation that I would know my role amongst my peers.  I wasn't, I felt, taken seriously.  I was someone on the margins of my social sphere, funny and creative, but non-threatening.  I was a cartoon.  I would dream of a scenario where I would work out and eat right during a summer break, and return on the first day of school as an instant celebrity because of the dramatic change I had undergone.

I took this with me into college.  My relationships were dysfunctional, and instead of longing for acceptance I longed for stardom.  My emotional needs for acceptance were so great that I would dream of being catapulted to the top of the social food chain, known campus wide, and that drove my creative efforts towards places where I was put in front of people, usually because of music.

Several things changed during my college years that led me to the eventual realization of my dream of slim fitness, but the changes were slow and involved less of my body and more of my heart.   The biggest change came when I realized that the frame that I operated in, the conception of myself as the "fat funny kid" was no longer useful.  Nor was it the truth of who i was.  The power to shape myself and my identity came from within, where God had been working on my heart via the words and counsel of some influential and caring people in my life.  So one day, without realizing that I was about to make a huge difference in my life, I went for a run.  I went for a twenty-minute run, the end of which found me gulping air at the crown of a grassy hill overlooking Union bay and the Seattle skyline.   And something new had descended and clung to me more closely than the baggy sweatshirt I had thrown on to cover my size as I ran.  I felt empowered to change. 

I had run for a couple years, not making a habit out of it, but usually donning my sneakers after feeling sorry for myself late at night.  Real change of habit and mind seemed foreign and impossible for me.  But I understood that night on the hill that something had been switched in my heart.  I truly believed that I could accomplish my goal.  And so I began to run every night.  It wasn't a decision to aim at a certain amount of weight by a certain date, nor a goal for which I had shaped a routine or a plan.  Instead, i made the daily decision, "I am going to run today."  And because I believed that I could, I did.

When Sheri Lewis approached me last week to talk through the SCARS show coming up at SVA, I decided that I needed to show my scars and tell my story.  For me, scars look like long red stretch marks that line my stomach, and loose skin that never seems to firm up completely.  I still feel self-conscious taking my shirt off during men's basketball or on the beach during the summer.  But I'm glad for what they represent in my life: a new creation, a new life.

So College and Career, what's your story?  Where are your scars? 

Know this: that you are loved, and to be loved is to be known.  To be fully embraced we must be fully loved.  And this is a good place for that.

-Chris

Get those Taxes Done

It's tax season pretty soon, and one of our very own College and Career folks, Heather Marzwick, is graduating soon from her accounting program at Lake Washington Technical College!  However, in order to graduate she needs a certain amount of hours spent practicing her craft.  SO!  She wants to do our taxes...

FOR FREE!

That's right.  The headache that is the IRS can vanish completely under the guidance of our dear Heather (I imagine that Dylan helps her out, too).

Here's the info from Heather:

1. Its completely confidential
2. it takes about 30 mins. over the phone (longer for
more complex
situations)
3. Its completely Free
4. great references on my behalf

I can mail it or e-file it and for those that have
made fewer than 60,000 last year you may be able to
e-file it for free otherwise it is about 10-20
dollars. you can have your return back in as little as
10 days if we direct deposit to your bank account or
2-4 weeks by mail.

Just email or call if interested and if you want you
can pass the word around to your family and friends
and I can do theirs if needed.

Thanks, Heather

Phone:  206-331-2311
Email:  heathermarzwick@yahoo.com

Working Through

Great discussion at the C&C group last night.  See the comments for the FRAMES 2008 Post below to catch up with the discussion from that night if you haven't already, then come back here.  Don't worry, I'll wait for you.

...

So we got to talking last night about this question: from what kinds of things do I need freedom, and where do I find it in my life?  Specifically we addressed those kinds of things that we believe about ourselves.  Let me first say that these are beautiful people.  I was so humbled last night by everyone's heart.  I am inspired and refreshed this morning.  Here are some paraphrased statements from last night:

"I feel free when I remember that I don't have to be 'good' to be loved."

"I feel free when I remember that I don't have to be what everybody else is or do what everybody else is doing in order to enjoy life or be worthwhile."

"I feel free when I remember that I don't have to be or do everything perfectly."

"I feel free when i realize that my worth and identity are not determined by what I do."

"I feel free when I realize that I don't have to do it all by myself."

"I feel free when I can serve other people."

I thank God for all of these statements because so many people are laboring under their own heavy weights, and the sooner we can reevaluate our own worth as not being derived from what we do, how well we do it, the net result of our failures and triumphs, the sooner we can begin to live with a sense of freedom.  I believe that is what Jesus wants for all of us: to be able to bring everything that we are, the good parts and the ugly parts, and feel safe with him and with other people.

Comments?  Thoughts?  Rants, Raves?

-Chris

FRAMES 2008

The first reality we must grapple with is this: that God will never fit into any frame we can construct for him.  That said, we all use pictures of God in order to articulate His reality in our lives, and to that end we can only expand what is really a construction, and ask him to graciously bear with our shortcomings.  Here are some questions I have been wondering lately, and asking God to work into my expanding frame:

- Where was God when a sixteen year old girl commited suicide last week? 

- When does God choose to intervene in people's lives?  Why does it seem like he appears to others more readily than to myself?

- Why is God's church so fractured, and where is the hope to be found in reconciliation?

- What's the real point of Sunday?  Is it enough?  What kind of service would Jesus put on?

I'm also working within a frame for myself that has undergone a variety of gradually mounting pressures as new things begin to work themselves into my self-portrait.  As a new pastor of less than a year, the responsibilities required of me have forced me to either sink or swim.  I've had to accept new things about myself that have both troubled me and brought me joy.  I have a more secure perception of my own worth.  Here are some of the questions that still keep me busy:

- At what point does my roll as a pastor and my identity as uniquely Chris converge?  Where does Pastor Chris end and Plain Old Chris begin?

- What is my roll on this planet?  Where have I allowed my gifts and talents to be squandered and my mission clouded because of fear?

- How do I embrace my self as a loved child of God and still accept myself as a sinner and well-intentioned failure?

- How do I avoid falling into the trap of believing that I have to be a Super Pastor in order to be worthy of love, acclaim, support, attention, etc?

- How do I create boundaries for myself so that I can manage other people's expectations, and to what extent is my inability to manage these a reflection of immaturity in myself?  How can I improve, or let go?

Finally, I want to expand my frame surrounding other people.  The other day my fiance Hannah said to me, "Is the reason you don't ask me questions anymore because you think you've got me all figured out?"  And while the answer to that question is complex, I was still forced to admit that I've placed a nice little frame around her, and those times when she busts our of her confines have led to my confusion or even my anger.  So:

- How to I love and embrace Hannah and keep the wonder of her personality real and tangible to me?

- Where do I take my relationships for granted?

- What are my expectations for my friendships and family members, and where have I been short-sighted or asked more of them than I am willing to give?

- How do i be a servant to people I have a difficult time loving?

THE BIG QUESTION: What are your frames?   Which questions are you wrestling with, are demanding your time, are calling for a larger frame for God?  What are some of the things you believe about these things now that never used to fit in your old frames?

May the truth always find you willing to embrace it.  -Chris